I am not the same anymore from when I started this blog.

I am slowly degenerating into the obese man I was years before I started posting here.

I am not sure why this is happening.

But regardless of the "why," there is the "happening."

I want to stop the process but I find that I am apathetic.

I tell myself "today I start my diet" yet I do not make it through the day without eating something bad for me.

Can it be a result of my recent relationship troubles?

Maybe.

But I cannot blame those events on my horrible attitude towards my body.

It didn't help my self-esteem in any way, shape, or form but I cannot place the blame solely on it.

All I know is that I no longer trust anything or anyone, myself included.

I do not know who is out to hurt me, use me, or abuse me.

When it comes to the above, I am fully qualified to annihilate myself damn well.

So I don't need your help.