I was working out yesterday and I saw "Michelle" and her Mom.

I always look for her when I'm in the gym and whenever I see her, I get excited.

Even yesterday.

So I have no excuse for not even acknowledging them.

I do not know what came over me to do this. I can only assume that Dave was in control.

Dave is a very strong element in my mind and sometimes I do not even realize that he is controlling me.

But, against my better judgment, I completely ignored "Michelle" and her Mom.

It might also be that I have finally started to put "Michelle" to bed.

Yesterday was the first time I've seen her since I last mentioned her in this blog.

I had called her (after that day) and, as usual, she didn't return my call.

So, I have finally reserved myself to the fact that she is in no way what so ever interested in me in any way, shape, or form.

I mean, I have stated in this blog that when her Mom is there, she and I talk almost nonstop. And I notice that "Michelle" gets bored and starts to walk away or becomes focused on something else during these times. I try to include her in the convo but she usually gets monosyllabic and lets her Mom do all the talking.

I have also mentioned that I don't know if she likes me and only gets shy because her Mom is overshadowing her during these convos.

I can only react to what I see/feel.

And when "Michelle" sees me alone she is very conversational.

But whenever I show interest, she backs away and literally disappears.

So, instead of feigning interest in their lives, I chose to pretend not to see them and instead talked with the person who had just walked away from them.

Basically, I said Fuck You to "Michelle" and her Mom because there was no way they didn't see me.

And they must know that I saw them.

So, there you have it.

I'm a fucking idiot.

Wonder what I'll be when I grow up.

Whenever that is.