I've noticed lately that I have maintained a five pound weight gain.

Now that may not seem like a lot but to someone like me it may as well be twenty.

It has been on me since around October.

Managing a healthy exercise routine while attending school has been harder than I thought.

Following the basic diet that my trainer developed for me is also hard to maintain while attending classes.

Next week I begin a new part-time job at my school which will alter the measly workout schedule I have now as well as my meal times.

All of this has me worried.

Dealing with my weight by diet and exercise was one thing.

But dealing with Why I Ate is another.

I haven't been man enough to tackle that yet.

I can see now its a problem that isn't going to go away just because I don't want to deal with it.

But until I do, every meal, no every bite, is a reminder that I can fall off the wagon.

And that has me fucking scared.