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Hey Semi-Constant Readers,

well, I've gained back a lot of the weight that I lost.

I am still a thinner man than I was but I am much heavier than I want to be.

I still do not know where this self-destruction came from. One minute I was balancing work, school, and women; then, all of a sudden, I am 80 pounds heavier.

If there was one event that I could say was the catalyst of my recent downfall, it would have to be the humiliation I suffered at the hands of "Deanna."

For some reason, I was completely converted back into the obese man I was before my health problems.

Now, this conversion was not immediate. This process involved heavy drinking, eating junk/fast food, and staying out of the gym.

As you can read in my back catalog, I have never been completely comfortable in my skin, even after my weight loss. Yet, I was healthy and active and I had the attention of many female students at school.

But, for some reason, I fell for one that was out to hurt all men because of a pain she suffered in the past. I knew this and I got involved with her anyway.

So, when the inevitable end came, I was already a mess in the making. I was drinking three to four nights a week. Eating like there was no tomorrow and avoiding the gym like it was a gay bath house.

The sort of ironic thing is that I lost weight after the first few weeks after "Deanna" ended things. I had dropped down from 220 Lbs. to 209 Lbs. in less than three weeks.

It was that fast weight loss that made me begin to eat high calorie, high carb foods.

I was trying to supplement my weight loss by balancing it with heartier foods. Yet all I did was awaken the sleeping beast that was my ravenous appetite.

In any case the case is not the biggest problem I face.

The biggest problem I face is getting myself back into shape and healthy again.

You see I have a girlfriend now and we are making plans.

I want to be around to see these plans come to fruition.

And that is what is driving me to get my ass in gear.