The thing I notice now is how subtlety everything changed without me noticing.

But at the same time I did notice and was told that it was not happening.

I see it now more than ever as it becomes more of a joke to the Other and their Friend.

I dislike this Friend more than the others but not as much as the Very Last One. But it never mattered to the Other how I felt except when it interfered with their illusion of being a good Other.

I am tired of being lied to just to placate the situation the Other wants to have.

I tell the Other that I do not trust them anymore and have not for a long time. They act offended and surprised every time I say it. Even from the bed of the Very Last One. They no longer give the Other what it wanted (and the Other would not admit to wanting it) in the way the Other wants it. But the day is coming for the Very Last One. They will get over their internal drama and take their place next to the Other the way the Other wants it but, again, won't admit that they want it.

And that leaves me to figure out how to be special, different, and happy as I see, hear, and think of what is happening to the Other.

How can I feel special again when the Other has lied to me more than told me the truth?

How am I different if I am no longer the one the Other relies on for everything?

And how can I be happy not being with the Other?

Those, my reader(s), are the questions that are making my heart hurt and cause my insomina.

Any suggestions?