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Today is the day.

"Deena" and I are supposed to meet and watch The Departed sometime today.

Because of her past she does not want to call this a "date."

I think that the word date would have been acceptable before I screwed up Monday but now it is not.

So, it is because of this that I am trying to be completely cool (which is unheard of for me) and play it by ear.

Also, I feel weird like I'm not attracted to her anymore.

I have this really strong "friends" vibe for her right now which is freaking me out.

I mean I want to be friends with a woman that I have a relationship with but not at the cost of my attraction to her.

Maybe it's just because I am in shock that this might actually happen today?

Or maybe it's because I haven't seen her in almost a month?

I hope that one of the above covers it.

Yet I am afraid that because of what I did on Monday that I have talked myself out of liking "Deena."

And I can't live with the thought of that.

So, that is why I've come to the conclusion that I need to play today by ear and not build it up into something it is not (to her anyway).

That way I can enjoy seeing "Deena" for the first time in a while.