I cried today for the loss of "Trelawney."

It has affected me more today than it did yesterday.

I wasn't sure it was going to bother me at all.

I mean I was trying to make myself feel bad yesterday but I kind of didn't.

That scared and bothered me a little.

Yet today I cried for a minute or two while listening to a song.

After our conversation yesterday, I started to dwell on how she made me feel and how she treated me.

Just being around her made me feel good most of the time but sometimes it felt as if I were with my father.

He had this thing where he would constantly ask you why you didn't talk to him.

Yet when you spoke to him for more than a minute, that was a wrap. He'd cut you off or tell you never mind and leave.

"Trelawney" had this way about her as well and it made me uncomfortable.

I am not saying that she treated me badly (far from it) but she kind of disappeared after awhile and I labeled it as a passive-aggressive "I'm not interested in you anymore" good-bye.

And my attention shifted to "Deena."

So as I write this I've come to the conclusion that though I do like her and would still like to be with her this is probably for the best right now.

Yet the bright side to this dark cloud is. . .

. . . I have my first date with "Deena" tomorrow.