So I pissed off "Michelle" yesterday by ignoring her at the gym.

I didn't mean to and I really wanted to see her but I just couldn't bring myself to take that long walk across the gym to her.

She and I have been like two ships in the night that just pass each other but don't connect. You know what I mean. I'm interested and she's interested but "we" just keep fumbling around the subject. At least that's what I feel. For her it could be what the fuck does he want now?

But onto the real reason for this post.

I want so badly to call "Lisa."

I mean has anyone ever held sway over you so completely that you cannot even function sometimes? Just hearing her voice last Saturday night has broken me into a billion little pieces and I can't reform myself. It was just her voice that did it. I can't even imagine what would have happened if we met. I know, well I think I know, that she still thinks that I'm obese and not the gym rat I've become. I wanted to tell her but I felt that we should've met for that surprise.

It's wierd because one of the final scenes of last Wednesday's LOST had a sort of similar scene to one I had with "Lisa" five, almost six years ago. It occured between Hurley and Libby on the cliff but "Lisa" and I never went beyond those types of disscussions until it was too late.

But to any writers out there if you want to write a character that has a guilt-driven addiction then that ep of LOST is the one to watch because it was pretty spot on regarding the food addiction of Hurley and why someone that hates them self would do it.

Wow, covered a lot today.